Her name is Creame. She was the first born of a set of twin sisters. She is 14 years old and as you can see is part cow and part human. What you can’t see is that she is also part werewolf and part demon. Her mother was half angel half demon, and her father was part bull part human. Creame inherited her mother’s demonic side, while her sister inherited their mother’s angelic side. She is also a powerful elemental, able to control fire and air, which grants her the ability to control the sun as she desires. She, along with her sister, was caught by slavers and forced into bondage. Her abilities were sealed inside of a cow bell that was fitted around her throat, locking away most of her power so she would not kill her master. The first master that bought her and her sister used them for only one thing. Their young bodies had developed much faster then normal humans, and so he felt no shame in taking their innocence. After that first traumatic experience, Creame found comfort in her sister’s arms. Their love sparked something primal in the older of the two twins, and as she pressed her lips her sisters’ she knew that they would always have each other. Over the years as a slave, she has endured many hardships. She was even experimented on, and changed. Her body was twisted to allow her to better serve her master. She is also a Pokemon trainer. Pokemon Carried Feraligatr Wigglytuff Persian Charizard Exeggutor Hoot-Hoot She is the on the left side, being snugged by her sister ^^

Profile Basher S

Holy shit.

Where do I start?

Well, there's the name. Jesus Christ, what the fuck. Who names their kid Creame? Well, I guess whoever was retarded enough to mate with a fucking COW. Seriously, look at that shit. Is that not some of the worst furfag art you've ever seen? Hell, I doubt even furfags would be into this shit. Look at that face. That expression would haunt the most perverted of individuals long into the last layer of consciousness as they sleep. A total boner-killer for sure.

It's almost like someone tried to make the worst fucking character that came to mind. Admittedly, I couldn't come up with something like this on my worst days. Out there somewhere, someone actually takes this shit seriously.

She is 14 years old and as you can see is part cow and part human.

Wait, really? FOURTEEN? She must've gotten her growth spurt at five or something, holy shit. She's got bigger jugs than Pamela Anderson. The idea that she is part cow and part human is an ever bigger mindfuck. Even among furfags, that is a definite DO NOT WANT.

Her mother was half angel half demon, and her father was part bull part human. Creame inherited her mother’s demonic side, while her sister inherited their mother’s angelic side. She is also a powerful elemental, able to control fire and air, which grants her the ability to control the sun as she desires.

Creame is not just an abomination. She's an aberration. She falls squarely into chimera territory, being part angel and part demon and part human and part cow. Angelic Demons/Demonic Angels aren't an original concept in The Keep at all, yet they are as classic as an outbreak of syphilis in Africa.

The elemental part of her heritage came out of fucking nowhere, it seems, and it's apparently strong enough that it endows Creame with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER, enough so that she can control the fucking SUN. I don't know how wind and fire elementalism combine to do this, but oh shit you motherfuckers better watch out. She'll drop a STAR on your ass!

She, along with her sister, was caught by slavers and forced into bondage. Her abilities were sealed inside of a cow bell that was fitted around her throat, locking away most of her power so she would not kill her master. The first master that bought her and her sister used them for only one thing. Their young bodies had developed much faster then normal humans, and so he felt no shame in taking their innocence.

Like cancer, it only gets worse. On top of all the other crap that already makes this profile a standout among all the other failure profiles out there, the slave story persists. Creame is less shameless with her admittance that the character has a history of bondage. Here I must wonder why anyone would want a half-cow abomination as a slave, especially one for use in sexual activity. Furthermore, one has to ponder why anyone who had the ability to control wind, fire and the sun (as she desires) would allow herself to be captured and pressed into slavery. This is clear and conclusive evidence that she doesn't have the brainpower to illuminate a Christmas light, much less put such PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER to any good use.

Her and her sister's master raped them. I'm hard-up on saying who was stupider: Creame and her equally skanky prostitot sister for getting captured, or their master for wasting his money on these two pieces of fail, fucking them, and then letting them and himself live.

I thought that was as bad as it got. But I was wrong.

Oh was I wrong.

After that first traumatic experience, Creame found comfort in her sister’s arms. Their love sparked something primal in the older of the two twins, and as she pressed her lips her sisters’ she knew that they would always have each other. Over the years as a slave, she has endured many hardships. She was even experimented on, and changed. Her body was twisted to allow her to better serve her master.

Oh my God. An underaged cow-furfag abomination chimera slave who's also doing her twin sister? This can't be serious, I thought. This is way too wrong to have been concepted by someone under the age of sixteen, yet it is too devoid of logic and sense to have been put together by anyone over age five.

But out there, somewhere, someone typed this up and thought it was an incredible idea. As though all that weren't enough to fuel a lolocaust, there was lastly this:

She is also a Pokemon trainer.

Words escape me. That one line, put in there as an afterthought, just takes the whole thing from "tragic" to "legendary." Proceeding after that is a list of her Pokémon, then a portrait of the lowly creatures.

On a scale of failure of 1-to-10, I give this profile a 20. Maybe a 21 for the extraordinarily bad picture.

This is not only one of the worst profiles I have ever seen. It is one of the absolute worst character concepts I have ever seen. In eight years, I've come across nothing as bad as this. Its sheer stupidity boggles the mind. It is disgusting beyond the aesthetic level. This is failure so hard you can touch it.

Holy shit on a stick. It is the living epitome of just about everything in our 99% of Everyone You'll Meet in the Keep list. It is more than worthy of our first review. The sooner we start prevention against such atrocities, the more effective they'll be.

Personally I disagree with my colleague Basher S on the name. "Creame" is the ideal thing to name your child if you believe she will one day grow up to be a skanky cow furry slave sorceress thing. You know how cream is a dairy product? Get it? And look at those udders! Perfect.

The rest is obviously indefensible. The angelic demonic elemental cow thing aside, I'm not sure how being able to control fire and wind equates to controlling the Sun. Perhaps some good samaritan should inform dear Creame that the Sun isn't connected to fire or wind. The surface of the Sun consists of hydrogen (about 74% of its mass, or 92% of its volume), helium (about 24% of mass, 7% of volume), and trace quantities of other elements, including iron, nickel, oxygen, silicon, sulfur, magnesium, carbon, neon, calcium, and chromium.

I guess it's logical to assume since the Sun is clearly very hot, that it's fire. Rest assured that if Creame DOES control the Sun, just about the entire universe can be affected by her whims, thus it makes little sense for her to be a slave unless she desired to be, which then doesn't make it actual slavery.

Creame is clearly the most powerful character in the entire Light Nexus. But somehow these powers can be trapped in this cowbell of hers. So I guess Creame's cowbell is in turn the most powerful character in the entire Light Nexus.

Why doesn't her master just take it from her and use it himself?

I guess he was too busy banging incestuous Creame and her twin sister. It's not like we can blame him. Just look at them Hoot-Hoots!

There are no more thoughts I can contribute on this hideous character that Basher S hasn't touched upon with identical sentiments. I only hope that this will remain the worst profile we have dared to lay our eyes upon.